Friday, April 24, 2020

WILL YOUR RELATIONSHIP SURVIVE


Sometimes its better to be KIND than to be RIGHT.
*we  do not need an intelligent mind that speaks, but a patient heart that listens.

*we are spending more time in indoors, more time than ever. Living in close quarters  doing every activity together. They  call it CABIN FEAR – the distressing , claustrophic , irritability or restlessness experienced when a personal group is stuck at an isolation location or in a confined quarters for an extend period of time.

*we call it a relationship and they say its called relationship because we all need a boat. A ship to help us travel over trouble times. But sometimes it can feel like sinking . its tough , trying to be perfect partner, perfect parent, perfect person, when you have to be perfect all day.

*we all are in state of discomfort, so everything feels too close for comfort. HE/SHE  you don’t help me out around and SHE / HE  says I am trying to work and HE/SHE says” but I am just trying to get some face time and they SHE/HE  says I need some space ,why don’t you zoom out?

*you are going to make mistakes ,there going to a debates and conflict because of higher stacks. When everyone is feeling the pain, but no one wants to talk about it for other sake. Because we are scared of scaring the other person our fears are out of place.

*you know what  its like , our anxiety turns into anger, our pain turns into panic, our fatigue turns into friction. We end up saying mean things. Thing “we don’t even mean”. We start saying “ you always do this or you never do that”. But the truth is, no one is always do something and no never does anything.

*we all know that but this isn’t a logical ,rational argument so we are both losing. AS  BUDDHA TEACH WE ARE NOT PUNISHED FOR OUR ANGER , WE ARE PUNISHED BY OUR ANGER.

# WE need to stop judging ourselves for not having a plan ,no one expected that. We need to spot feeling guilty because we don’t have it all together. We need stop judging others because they did not expect it either
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*we need stop making others feel guilty because we are in this together. We argue and bicker and wonder why we cant fatigue this out because there is something bigger at a play bigger than what is about.

# the only way we can beat it, is if we stick together, put aside our difference give each other space. still  make a plain and make those special dates. Remember , relationships “DON’T ALWAYS FAIL BECAUSE PEOPLE DO BAD THINGS TO EACH OTHER”.MORE OFTEN IT’S A BECAUSE THEY DID NOT DO GOOD THINGS FOR EACH OTHER.

#tell people HOW MUCH YOU MEAN to them you remind them every day. Because the biggest virus is if we forget to say I LOVE YOU, I NEED YOU, I MISS YOU.

Remember to be kind for people around you do not let this change the way you love people. don’t make  this virus. Make you love people less this time we need it the most.

Wednesday, April 15, 2020

THE QUEEN OF VEGETABLES


Once, there was a little girl called HEMA. She was twelve years old. Her parents were not wealthy. They worked very hard day and night to send their only child to a good English school. They wanted to give her best education.
Hema was a hard working and clever student. She always topped in her class. Her teachers were proud of her. At home too hema  helped her parents. She knew how much they had scarified to put in a good school.
Hema’s father had been left with a piece of land as a family property. In the centre was an old ramshackle building in which they were staying. Her father would grow all kinds of vegetables. There were many flowering plants too. They had put up a small shed near the front gate. All the produce from the garden they would sell and  then would bring bundles of jasmine, champak, roses, lilies etc. In the afternoons her mother would sit and then string them into garlands. In the evenings she would sell them along with vegetables  from  their garden. Hema  father worked in the garden the whole day long making beds, graining, weeding , watering, and plucking fresh vegetables. He would then weigh it and carefully put them into packets  of different kg’s. Though they were not making much money out of this, they were happy and contented. It was just enough to keep the family going.
Hema understand their position. She would never  make any demands. But like any other girl of her age, she wanted to have a bicycle. she would watch other girls riding  to school on their shinning bikes. Oh, how she longed to own a bicycle of her own. But she did not ask her parents. She knew that they could not afford to get her one. They would only start working even harder to save the money.
One evening Hema came home in greater excitement, “mother , mother”. She cried. “where are you?” her mother came from kitchen. “oh  mother,” said Hema. “ I have so much to tell you. Our school is celebrating its Silver Jubilee. It is 25 years since the school started.” Hema went on.. “ there are lots of competitions this year. Our teachers will select the best students from each class to participate in the singing and dance and debate competitions. But for the Fancy Dress competition, every one can participate, oh! Mother how  I wish  I could go as a princess. All the other girls hire princess costumes and fairy costumes. Just this once hire a shiny costume for me!”
Hema’s mother sighed. She did not want to disappoint her daughter . “ how much does it cost dear?” she asked. “ two hundred rupees for a day, mother” said Hema. She knew it as too much money to spend on a beautiful stain gown  and an artificial crown.
My child give me some time, I’ll see if it is possible, said Hema  mother. Hema nodded and went inside her room. For once she could not concentrate on her studies. She kept hopping against hope that somehow her mother would manage to hire the costume for her.
Later that evening , her mother called Hema. Hema my golden child, it is not possible to spend 200 Rupees on a dress just for a day.” Seeing Hema disappointed face, she added quickly “ but I have thought of a wonderful costume. You are going to participate in the Fancy Dress Competition not as a princess but as a Queen”.
“ o mother, I don’t understand you, How can I go as Queen when i don’t have a costume?” asked Hema. You leave that to me , said her mother mysteriously. “ just tell the date of the competition and your costume will be ready by then”.
The day of the competition was fast approaching. Every day Hema would ask her mother, but the only answer she git was that her dress would ready in time. Hema was curious  to see her dress, but her mother would not say that it was not yet completed.
Every night after Hema was asleep, her mother would begin to work on the costume. She had taken an old white frock belonging to Hema. She had been collecting  all the seeds from the garden. Even the seeds of the watermelon were not discarded . she would sit and then sort out seeds of similar sixes and colour. She would then string them together.
The day before the competition, Hema’s mother sent her to bed early. She then made some paste with maida to use as glue. She sat down with dress and carefully began the work. First the back of the frock was covered with spinach leaves, methi leaves and other greens. Then she turned the frock over. By the morning the costume was ready. Hema woke up to a big surprise.  Hema , get up my child. Hurry up with your bath. It is going to take quite some time to dress you today,” said her mother. Hema sat up in excitement .  today was the day of her Fancy Dress Competition.
Mother , can I see my dress now? She asked. “ after you finish your bath” her mother answered. Hema rushed through her brushing and bathing. “ now close your eyes and open slowly  when i tell you to” her mother said. She brought out the dress and asked Hema to open her eyes.
Hema gasped with astonishment. It was a most unusual dress. The front  of the  dress had tiny black buttons which are actually dried watermelon seeds. Rows and rows of peas covered the bodice. The lower portion of the dress made it look like a dance frock . layers and layers of cabbage leaves were carefully sewn one beneath the other. It looked as if the frock had frills of cabbage leaves. The sleeves of the back dress had tassels of blended  beans. The back of the dress was in various shades of green, made from spinach, mint etc..
You are going to be the Queen of vegetables, “ explained by her mother, “ Now stand  still while I put it on you carefully.” Hema did not know what to say her mother. She had taken so much pain to create the dress.
Her mother braided her hair with jasmine flowers. She then brought out a tray containing other treasures. There were chains of double beans, strings of pearl- like earrings, her mother had  found the tiniest of baby carrots . she had tied them with strings to loop over the ears. The belt of the dress had strip of carrot, radish and beetroot. For the hands , she had made bracelets out of bitter gourd, cut or strung together. Her socks has ever been covered with onion stalks and her black shoes had been transformed into cabbage leaf shoes. “And now for the last item,” said her mother finally and she brought out a silver crown. It was the hard rind of ash gourd cut in the shape of crown. She fixed it on her daughters head. “ Now take a look at yourself” she said.
Hema was a strange creature in the mirror. She did not recognize herself. The image really looked like a fairy from vegetables land. “ Mother, thank you so much, I am really looking like a princess,” she said.  You  are the princess of our family,” her father remarked  entering the room. He was carrying a slender snake gourd in his hand. “Here my child, this is your magic wand.” He said. “Go there  and tell them  no one can go without paying their respect to the Queen Of Vegetables. Come now,  I’ll escort my princess to school. Hema thanked her parents again set off with her father, full of confidence.
The school was really colourful that day. Children in all kinds of costume were present. Some parents were giving final touches to their children’s costumes before the bell rang. Some has dressed as jokers, others had come as Kings and Queens in their glittering finery. Seeing the strange looks of children at her costume. Hemas’s  confidence slowly evaporated. Most of them had hired  the costumes and had put on make up also.
Just then Jaya , her classmate , caught sight of Hema’s dress. She quickly called few friends and pointed at Hema. “ come let’s have a bit of fun with her” said Jaya. Now jaya had always been jealous of  Hema. No matter how well she did, it was always Hema who did better. Jaya hated be second best. She knew Hema background and never lost a chance to be spiteful. What irritated her more was that Hema did not anger with her, nor did she complain to the teachers.
Jaya dressed up as Cinderella. She wearing a beautiful lace  gown full of frills. But looking Hema ‘s  dress she felt jealous somehow the dress looked so different and unique. She went upto Hema and said loudly to her: “ have you not come to the wrong place? This is not vegetable market.” Jaya’s friends sniggered ludly.
Poor Hema! She felt tears coming to her eyes. She wished she had not participated in the competition . but it was too late to do anything. The participants were asked to line up near the stage. One by one children went up on the stage a few words and came down. The other children who were not participating were clapping loudly . they were 3 judges.
Suddenly it was Hema’s term. Her name was called . Hema went on stage very hesitantly . There was silence as she walked. For s second she didn’t know what to say. She was feeling ashamed of her dress. In her mind she saw her father’s proud look mother’s hard work and love  in making the costume.
“Good morning everybody. I am Queen of Vegetables. Just imagine a world without me or my subjects. No one can live without us,” Hema heard herself saying. “ one more thing I come from agricultural background and I am proud of my parents who created this dress. Thank you”.
Nobody clapped for few seconds. Hema turned away, tears flowing freely. Then the clapping started .they cheered for her words as well as for unusual dress. But Hema  was feeling miserable to care.
At last the programme was over. The Head mistress said that the names of prize winners would be announced shortly. The children waited impatiently discussing whose costume was the best. Finally the wait was over.
“first of all, I congratulate all the participants for participating in the fancy dress competition. It has been a pleasure to see so much enthusiasm and talent among our children. It was indeed difficult to choose only three prize winners. These prize winners of Middle school. The  Third prize goes to vidya of Std v dressed as Shabari , the old woman who waited with fruits for Lord Rama. The Second prize goes to Jaya of Std VI for having dressed as Cinderella.
Each time the prizes were announced there was loud applause.  Jaya got up and went on stage proudly. Poor Hema was lost in her own world. She had no hopes of winning at all. She just wanted to go home. “ Amd now the First prize ... the winner is HEMA.” The sound of the head mistress’s voice  was drowned in the  loud clapping. Hema , hema , her friens shook her hand , “ Go on , mam calling you. Hema just looked at them blankly. “Hema also of std VI for the most original costume as Queen Of  Vegetables. The head mistress announced again.
Hema could not believe her ears. She went up in daze. Jaya who was feeling ashamed of her earlier behaviour towards  Hema was glad for once. She too clapped again to receive prize.
The photographer clicked as she received her prize. Hema turned to go down. The head mistress brought her  forward again.
“children, I  have one more announcement to make. This year beign our Sliver Jubilee year . we have chosen three girls foe Best Achiever Award.  From Primary school it is Shivani from tejaswi high school from Higher school  it is Jyothi  and Hema  from Middel school.
“And do you know what these three girls will receive on Annual Day?  A Hero Bicycle.
Hema’s wish was being granted in a most unexpected way. Her hard work had been recognized. That day Hema was the happiest girl. She wanted nothing more in her life. She went home and hugged her mother. Her parents were proud of her achievements .
“see ,  I told you, you are really our princess. Even if you had not won in the competition, you would still be our darling daughter”, said her father.



Tuesday, April 14, 2020

SECRET OF WORK - NO ONE IS INFERIOR


I do not believe in reform; I  believe in growth. I  do not dare to put myself in the position of God and dedicate to our society, “This way thou should move and not that.” I simply want to be squirrel in building of Rama’s  bridge, who was quite content to put on the bridge his little quota of sand dust. This is my position.
NO WORK IS INFERIOR
There is, however ,one great danger in human nature, viz. That man never examines himself. He thinks he is quite as fit to be on the throne as the king. Even if he is, he must first show that he has done the duty of his own position; and then higher duties will come to him. When  we begin to work earnestly in the world , nature gives us blows right and left and soon enables us to find out our position. No  man can long occupy satisfactorily a position for which he is not fit. There is no use in grumbling against nature’s adjustment. He who does the lower work in it not therefore a lower man. No man is to be judged by the mere nature of his duties , but all should be judged by the manner and the spirit in which they perform.
Later on we shall find that even this idea of duty undergoes change, and that the greatest work is done only when there is no selfish motive to prompt it. Yet it is work through the sense of duty that leads us to work without any idea of duty; when work will become worship –nay; something higher- then will work be done for its own sake.
Duty is seldom sweet. It is only when love greases its wheel that it runs smoothly; it is a continuous friction otherwise. How else could parents do their duties to their children, husbands to their wives, and vice versa? Do we not meet with these cases of friction every day in our lives? Duty is sweet only through love, and love shines in freedom alone. Yet is it freedom to be a slave to the senses, to anger, to jealousies and a hundred other pretty things that must occur every day in human life? In all these little roughness that we meet with a life, the highest expression of freedom is to forebear.
BE LIKE THE SQUIRREL:  The monkeys removed whole hills , placed them in the sea and covered them with stones and tress, thus making a huge embankment. A little squirrel, so it is said, was there rolling himself in the sand and running backwards and forwards on to the bridge and shaking himself. Thus in his small way he was working for the bridge of Rama by putting in sand. The monkeys laughed, for they  were bringing whole mountains , whole forests, huge loads of sand for the bridge – so  they laughed at the little squirrel rolling in the sand and then shaking himself. But Rama saw it remarked : “Blessed be the little squirrel;  he is doing his work to the best of his ability, and he is therefore quite as great as the greatest of you”. Then  he gently stroked the squirrel on the back, and the Rama’s fingers, running lengthy ways, are seen on the squirrel’s back to this day.